Rae's costume was easy enough. We bought the hat/scarf and a set containing eye patch, earring, hook and sword at Walmart, added black pants from home, and a wonderful puffy shirt/waistcoat combo that was loaned to us by my friend Janice, et voila, a scurvy buccaneer. Leah's was not so easy. After a few painful attempts to coil her hair into Leia's hair bagels, I gave up and did something I've never done before. I ordered her costume online. (I feel like such a sell-out.)
Oh, before I get much further in the story, here is a picture of my incredibly cute offspring, taken this morning before school -- because God knows what kind of shape the costumes will be in when they get off the school bus this afternoon.
Now where was I? Oh yeah, ordering online. I ordered from an outfit that is associated with a local party supplies store, so instead of paying shipping to my house, I picked the costume up at the party store.
When I got there on Wednesday to pick it up, I was floored by all the Halloween stuff they had -- costumes, decorations, make-up, props -- it was truly amazing. But what caught my eye the most was a poster advertising costumes for a company called Secret Dreams. They were women's costumes, and were all kind of....um....slutty. All the costume names were prefaced with the word 'sexy', you know, like 'Sexy Angel', and 'Sexy I Dream of Jeannie', and (God help us all) 'Sexy Tinkerbelle'.
Umm, yeah. My eyes started rolling. But you can see -- sort of -- how those female archetypes could be seen as sexy. What blew my mind was what other not-very-sexy costumes they managed to sex up. I present to you, now, the real thing, and the Secret Dreams versions. And I'm not making this up, you know.
The real Wednesday Addams from the Addams Family (note that she is a seven-year-old girl):
A real NASCAR driver:
sleazy 'Sexy NASCAR Driver':
But the one that really boggled my mind as being something that was not the least bit sexy was this, the real Ghostbusters:
And (I shit you not), the
skanky 'Sexy Ghostbuster':
I am left almost speechless. And needing a thesaurus to come up with more synonyms for 'slutty'.
I did notice, however, that this
Holy Halloween Inequity, Batman:
What we need is the 'Sexy Casino Royale James Bond' costume -- you know, to even things up for us women:
Wait. On second thought, thinking of what most men actually look like, maybe Neo isn't such a bad costume idea after all.
Happy Halloween, everyone!
(Photos courtesy of Google, except for the picture of my adorable spawn, courtesy of me.)